porcupines?

It's an exciting Saturday night: I'm listening to Bauhaus, having a cocktail and perusing a few of my cookbooks.

from Joy of Cooking:
Puff Paste or Pate Feuilletee
"Puff Paste recipes usually start 'Choose a bright, windy, chilly day...' We stand off unfavorable weather with an electric fan, but are careful not to train it on the work surface. If you ask, 'What does a commercial bakery do about puff paste and the weather?' -the answer is: they use a highly emulsified, very impervious margarine. To become an amateur champion, keep in mind first and foremost that this most delicate and challenging of pastries must be made the way porcupines make love- that is, very, very carefully. Then shut off the telephone for an hour or two, cut yourself some paper patterns as shown on page 594 and set to work."

in the Mennonite Community Cookbook there's a recipe for "Best Ever Pickles," which calls for "300 cucumbers, 2 inches long"; a recipe for Brine for Cold Pickle called "Busy Sister"; also a recipe for Apple Butter, in which it is suggested that one use a large 30 to 40 gallon copper kettle.
There's also a recipe for "Porcupine Balls." There are no porcupines called for in the recipe, thank god.

Fields of Greens (recipes from Greens Restaurant) provides much more inspirational, though far less entertaining, reading.

for now I think I'll order some Chinese food.