thenpush orpull

I am the proud new owner of a Child Prodigy Midget Accordion.
I'm in love.
My neighbors hate me.
maybe someday I'll learn to play something recognizable...
but with instructions like this, no matter how sexy they are, I'm not sure how soon I'll be managing "I wanna be evil" or even a polka of any kind.

"Put the leather strap on shoulder when playing, In playing, the righthand, are employed in manipulating the keys, Pushing, and pulling are effected, by the left wrist during the performance, and the palm is engaged in supporting the bottom of the instrument. In the course of pushing and pulling, the bellows should assume the shape of a fan and move inward and outward quite naturally following the force of motion. The Pulling should not be over done [you're telling me], and in the case of playing certain melodies requiring excessive pulling and pushing and conequently causing insuffi ciency of air in the bellows, press the lowest butoon on the bass side and thenpush orpull rapidly with the left hand to adjust the air Refrain from pulling the bellows roughly when no keyys are pressed, since the bellows might be damaged and leakage would result."

parts of it are as if e.e cummings had written a sloppy technical manual.
wheee!