I'd forgotten all about the LRB Personals:

'No,' I said, 'this is comedy' and threw the biscotti - and his skinny mocha latte - right back in his face. Edgy, humourless F., 41, banned from most train station Costas. Strangely alone at box no. 11/13.

When you do that voodoo that you do so well, I invoke 16th Century witchcraft laws and have you burned at the stake. No shenanigans with Quaker M, 39, at box no. 11/11.

Without love, it doesn't matter if you have all the qualifications in the world. Which I have. Please write for full list. I also have all the money in the world and look like Jude Law. Yes, I can provide a photo. M, 71, Ottrershaw. When named I am the man apart. Box no. 11/08

not as screamingly funny as the first time I found them, but still a good distraction for a moment or two.