we love the LRB personals, part 27:

"My ideal woman is a man. Sorry, mother. Box no. 04/08"

and:

"Too much sex, not enough Vitamin B12. Vegan love-god on the brink of mental and physical collapse (M., 26) seeks pallid, calcium-deficient F. for nights of apathy, depression and headaches whilst touring the moral high-ground. It's all faux-fur, acrylics and Protoveg chilli-non-carne at box no. 03/09."