baked hammer alaska

earlier tonight, I was supposed to be napping in preparation for a late evening of cello and revelry, but I was curled up on the couch reading instead. I went into the kitchen at some point, turned on the oven, and then returned to my book. fifteen minutes later, I smelled something funny, raced back to the kitchen, and pulled my poor hammer out of the oven.
see, the other night when Eli and I had our crab feast, I was using the hammer to crack the big claws in the sink, and then it was all wet, so I put it into the oven for two minutes so it wouldn't rust.
except I forgot to remove it. so now the wooden handle is sort of scorched on one side, and the varnish is a little... crunchy.
there are several morals to that story. fish them out for yourself.